Idiot's Guide to Malta

See it?  Right at the bottom of the map...

Maybe the above is a little strongly worded, but it will suffice for the purposes here.  Because frankly, a lot of people don't have the first notion about Malta, if they've even heard of it at all.  So here are some simple answers to some simple questions and search terms that appear on the internet:

Where is Malta?  
-  It is in the Mediterranean, just south of Sicily, Italy.

So Malta is part of Italy then.
-  No, it's near Italy but it is an independent country.

Not Spanish either?  Sounds a bit like Mallorca, Malaga and those other Spanish ones...
-  No.  Not Spanish, it's an independent country.


They speak Spanish though, right?
-  Why do you keep asking me if they're Spanish?  No wonder this is called an 'idiot's guide'.  No they speak Malti, which is their own language, it's in the Arabic family.  And pretty much everyone speaks English and Italian.

What continent is Malta in?
-  Seriously?  It's in Europe.  It is part of the European Union, they use the euro here.

What else can you tell me?
-  Okay, but no more questions after this.  It's very small, it has one of the sunniest climates in all of Europe, the capital city is called Valletta, and it's generally a very nice place to visit.

Sounds good.  Just need to brush up on my Spanish...
-  Idiot.